100 of 1000

When I started getting serious about comics in 2007, I was told by someone I respect and admire, that I would hate my first 1000 inked drawings, so I decided that not only was I going to set that as my first goal, I would document it on flickr.

As of 1 year and roughly ten months later, I finally hit 100. It took a lot longer than I expected just to get to what I considered my first mile marker. Of course, when I started this little project, I was working about 60 hours a week or more managing a Starbucks and totally exhausted before I even sat down to draw at home. Its now been almost a year since I've worked there and despite still working 40 hours a week, because it is 8-5, I'm not always exhausted and I know when it is that I can draw.

I'm hoping to do the next 100 within a year which I think is reasonable as I get better and faster. The next 12 months are going to be important. Things are getting too serious now to slow down or for me to be afraid. No glory without sacrifice, no beauty without danger.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lazzyfair/3830323246/in/set-72157600324461148/

...

I loved you; even now I may confess,
Some embers of my love their fire retain,
But do not let it cause you more distress,
I do not want to sadden you again.
Hopeless and tonguetied, yet I loved you dearly
With pangs the jealous and the timid know;
So tenderly I loved you, so sincerely,
I pray God grant another love you so.

Alexander Pushkin

T Paine

"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death."
Thomas Paine

The Seductive Lure of Socialism

Here I encounter the most popular fallacy of our times. It is not considered sufficient that the law should be just; it must be philanthropic. Nor is it sufficient that the law should guarantee to every citizen the free and inoffensive use of his faculties for physical, intellectual, and moral self-improvement. Instead, it is demanded that the law should directly extend welfare, education, and morality throughout the nation.

This is the seductive lure of socialism. And I repeat again: These two uses of the law are in direct contradiction to each other. We must choose between them. A citizen cannot at the same time be free and not free.

--Frederic Bastiat, French Economist, from The Law, published in 1850

Comic Con

It’s been 4 days since the 2009 San Diego Comic Con ended. 4 days, and I still feel like I’m reeling from shell shock. I’ve had a number of people asking me about it since I got back; what did I do, did I get to meet anyone famous, what was it like? It’s the latter that is hardest to answer. There is no way to describe what it is “like” to attend Comic Con, literally, nothing exists that one can compare it to, except another Comic Con. It is SO big, SO crowded and SO fucking insane that I could write a book about it and you’d still not know what its like. It’s like going to a family reunion and seeing your half retarded third cousins from West Virginia running around like chickens with their heads cut off, only instead of six or seven of them, there are 125,000. And no, I’m not exaggerating, the official count isn’t in yet, but the expected number from the promoter puts the number a little over that. Now imagine that number crammed into four blocks of space, throw some celebrities in there, a dash of stupid and you get a glimpse of what it was like. I was there for four and a half days, that’s including the preview night, and by the end of it I was finding it hard to talk to people. Don’t get me wrong, it is fun and exciting and all of that shit that you imagine it to be BUT, that is only a small portion. I’d say 40% of me was having fun, and the other 60% wanted to punch someone…mainly the manga kids camping out in the lobby with “Free Hug” signs.

What I learned was Comic Con is important for the things that happen because of Comic Con. It’s the only excuse that hundreds of very busy artists, writers, editors, etc can find the time to see each other and hang out. There are no bull pens anymore with dozens of artists working on pages into the night; no Stan Lee’s or Jack Kirby’s strong arming the medium. Through the power of the internet, these people are spread out in their own parts of the world and this is the perfect excuse to leave their caves for a few days and see some fans, and kick back from deadlines.

What is interesting about this is that you essentially have two events going on. I’m reminded of the scene in the Wizard of Oz when the old man is discovered as the wizard and tells the group “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.” You have the spectacle for the fans, Comic Con proper, and you then have the parties, the hotel bars and the dinners amongst the pros and the exhibitors. This is where the business is conducted, connections made, and cards passed about. Where the people who are the center of raving fans’ attention, can be amongst friends and free from harassment. And the crazy thing is that they are free. People who are mobbed in the halls at the convention, blend in and kick back at the Hyatt bar a block away, a bar that has a constant stream of fans walking by it, a steady supply of drinking pros in it, yet no overlap between the two at all.

My only explanation is that inside the walls of Comic Con, attendees feel as though they have been given carte blanche to behave like idiots, that this place is the ONE place they can be free to express themselves and their interests or to ask for help, and for some reason, that magic only extends as far as the front door to the convention center. They put the experience and the people on a pedestal so much so that they don’t even seem to see these people as normal humans, but idols to be worshiped and adored, looking on the exhibition hall as their Parthenon, sacrificing their common sense and dignity.

I straddled the fence between both of these worlds. Sitting out on the back terrace of the convention center, my preferred place to smoke, I was constantly inundated with doubt and confidence, sadness and excitement. I swung like a pendulum through the spectrum of emotions as my experiences cut a similar path across the con. I met as many people on the terrace smoking as I did in that Hyatt bar I mentioned. Risks were sometimes rewarded, but just as many were not. It was four and half days of my highest highs and lowest lows.

Based on my attempt to describe what it is “like” you might think that I didn’t have a good time, that I regret having gone. Nothing could be further from the truth. The truth is it might honestly have been one of the most pivotal moments in my life, the point from which the rest of my life stems. I have yet to leave it far enough in my past to truly know all that it meant, but I am left with an overwhelming sense of who I am and where I am going in my life.

I’ve seen the man behind the curtain, and there is no turning back for me. I’m not going back to San Diego until I have a reason other than to just simply go. I feel like the rest of my life is in front of me for the first time since I was a kid. I know what my dreams are and I have found that they are not of my reach.

Its Been A While

I've neglected my blog for almost four months apparently. Doesn't seem like its been that long, but I've also been pretty busy.

Comic Con 09 wrapped up this past Sunday, my first experience with that specatacle. All in all I had a lot of fun...it was mainly for the things happening because of Comic Con that it was fun BUT none the less, fun. I met a lot of cool people, made some contacts, got some critiques along with advice and was able to cut a rug on my birthday at a killer party.

I have the feeling that the next year or so is going to be busy. Already I have an illustration job for a university I did work for last year, only now, instead of one piece, its going to be three. I have to finish up the story I'm working on now which I hope to have published by fall of this year, and I already have 3 or 4 other stories floating about in my head. I'm excited though. Excited to work my ass off and hustle and talk and sell and grow.

So It Begins

I'm leaving for comic con today...there will be updates.